A Trail Guide to Tracking Down Your Unique Purpose
“I don’t know where we are going, but I know exactly how to get there.”
From the “The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life” by Boyd Varty
Unless you live under a rock and have zero access to social media, it may appear as though every man worth his salt is already living his best life. They’ve got a successful business, a hot spouse who also happens to be his best friend, and unrestricted world travel. They’ve probably even established a world-saving non-profit, all before turning 30. These guys are on fire!
Yet, amid this pervasive goal slaying and ass-kicking imagery, it's possible to feel like you somehow missed the memo. You know - the one that might have clued you into what your greater purpose is and how you might achieve a life that lights you up.
In a previous article, “The Fatal Act of Disconnection”, I wrote at great length about the importance of living congruently. To recap, congruence occurs when what you say and what you do align with your true thoughts, beliefs, values, and desires. When your outer life is in sync with your inner life, you feel more inspired, intentional, and filled with a sense of purpose.
But what happens when you lose touch with or feel numb to your desires? How can you possibly create a congruent life if you don’t even know what you want?
Chances are that at some point in your life, you have felt completely certain of your path. You knew what you wanted and you worked fervently toward a specific dream or goal. Perhaps you were a child hosting your first lemonade stand, or in your first job with a salaried position, or maybe you were involved in a relationship you believed would last forever. It feels good to feel motivated and have a clear direction, however, it’s not uncommon, to alternately go through periods of life when you feel ambivalent about your path forward.
When you’re lost, struggle to fulfill your needs, or are unable to make sense of the world around you, you may find yourself in crisis.
One of the most inspirational books I’ve recently read is “The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life” by Boyd Varty. Varty is a South African nature reserve tracker and safari guide, who’s narrative about his ventures in tracking serves as a reminder of how the ancient art of tracking can teach you to recognize the essential ingredients in a meaningful life. His message conveys that somewhere deep inside, we all know what gifts we possess, and what our personal purpose and mission are.
One of the biggest obstacles we experience in tracking down our purpose comes from our contemporary lifestyles, which are filled with constant distractions and devices that provide instant gratification, rather than introspection and reflection. According to Varty, we have lost the ability to listen to ourselves.
Using the tracker as our guide, we learn to sniff out clues that tell us what our innate gifts and talents are. Carefully retracing our steps to remember what excited us at earlier times in our lives can hint at things we really love doing but have pushed aside. The goal is to use our senses to gather information about the path we are on, where we've already been, and then use that information to plot a path forward based upon what is most important to us.
“Who am I?” is a question some men feel uncomfortable asking.
It is by digging into this question we’re able to navigate, and maybe even mitigate moments of crisis, where we feel directionless, and discontent.
Sometimes, having a life crisis is simply an opportunity to consider what’s important to you at this phase in your life and make a different choice. A life crisis is simply a moment in time where you allow yourself to observe and listen to all the alarm bells chiming - for the singular aim of assessment. They implore you to ask, “what do I care about, and which direction should I now go?”
I particularly resonate with the quote from Varty’s book that states, “I don’t know where we are going, but I know exactly how to get there.”
“A life crisis is a moment in time where you allow yourself to observe and listen to all the alarm bells chiming; for the singular aim of assessment.” - Simon Niblock
A lot of men come to therapy with an issue that feels big and insurmountable and through the therapeutic process discover the answers they needed had always resided within them. Through taking an investigative approach (or tracking), they bring to light the solutions they seek.
It can take time and courage to acknowledge and align with their innate purpose and direction. It's a matter of investing in yourself to dig out the truth, so you can lead a life full of meaning and purpose.
Understanding that self-inquiry helps us track down who we are, what we care about and what our gifts are, let’s explore some of the questions you can ask yourself during your investigation.
Exercise.
Ask yourself the following questions and write your answers in a journal or notebook:
Who I am? What qualities do I value most about myself?
Who am I not?
What past life moments define who I am today?
What future life experiences would I like to define me?
What guidance would my 80-year-old self, offer to my current self?
What experiences or possibilities am I avoiding?
What could be the valid purpose for the problems or issues that I experience?
What personal truth am I ignoring?
Uncovering your sense of self can be one of the hardest challenges you undertake – however, research indicates that an awareness and congruent expression of the self provides an important basis for experiencing meaning in life.
While we'd all like to download a complete road map to our lives, more often than not, we're only able to see just a few steps in front of us. But in spite of the destination being perpetually vague (do we really ever know where we’re going?), when you truly know, like and trust yourself, you’ll know precisely how to proceed.
Debrief & Digest.
When you’re lost, struggle to fulfill your needs, or are unable to make sense of the world around you, you may find yourself in crisis.
A life crisis is an opportunity to consider what’s important to you at this phase in your life and make a different choice.
The goal is to use our senses to gather information about the path we are on, where we've already been, and then use that information to plot a path forward based upon what is most important to us.
It's a matter of investing in yourself to dig out the truth.
If you've struggled with discovering or tracking down your unique purpose, I hope you'll consider some of the practical steps provided throughout this article.
Of course, if you feel as though you need more personalized guidance, such as a one-on-one session, or group support, please contact me here:
Book a Free 20-minutes Consultation
If you haven’t already, sign up to MANifest Monday’s, my free weekly email series where I share loads of valuable tools and resources to help you level up and live your best life.
Cheers, Simon
References
Dunning, D. (2005). Self-insight, Roadblocks, and detours on the path to knowing thyself. Taylor & Francis Group. Psychology Press. UK.
Schlegel, R. J., Hicks, J. A., Arndt, J., & King, L. A. (2009). Thine own self: True self-concept accessibility and meaning in life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 96(2), 473-490.
Varty, B. (2019). The Lion Tracker’s Guide to Life. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, New York, New York.
