Why it Feels Impossible to "Just Calm Down" During a Panic Attack: How to Prevent and Cope with Panic Attacks
One of my favorite sci-fi books is the comedic Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, by Douglas Adams (1978). The main character of the book, an unassuming English man named Arthur Dent, is the last surviving man from earth, who during his ‘misadventures’ around the galaxy with a ragtag bunch of friends, is presented with an electronic book, aptly named the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. It’s a kind of travel reference guide that travelers would tuck in their backpack to help them best navigate novel destinations.
On the front cover of this guide are the words ‘Don’t Panic’, written in ‘big, friendly letters’, which are used to remind the reader to remain calm, even when the universe around them is spiraling out of control. The only problem is despite the frank guidance, Arthur spends most of his time throughout his adventures doing exactly that – panicking.
And why not? It’s human nature to panic!
Let’s take a few moments to stop educate ourselves more about this mental and physical phenomenon.
What is a Panic Attack?
A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within a short period of time (usually within minutes). Sometimes this intense feeling is expected as a response to a particular stimulus, like a phobia, or it can feel like it happens out of the blue and is not attached to a particular trigger.
The most common symptoms of a panic attack are:
Physical Manifestation
Shortness of breath
Chest pain or discomfort
Choking or smothering sensations
Heart palpitations (accelerated heart rate)
Shaking or trembling
Sweating and tingling
Chills or heat sensation
Nausea or abdominal distress
Dizziness, lightheadedness
Feeling unsteady or faint
Psychological Manifestation
Intense apprehension, fearfulness, or terror
A fear of impending death or disaster, even though there is no concrete danger
A fear of “going crazy” or losing control
Feeling detached from oneself
Feeling out of touch with reality
Fear of dying or having a heart attack or stroke.
The experience is different for every person, but all panic attacks fall within one of three panic-related domains:
1 - Unexpected panic attack (no obvious situational trigger or external stimuli)
2 - Situationally bound attack (caused by external triggers such as a phobia)
3 - Situationally predisposed attack (panic that does not occur in all situations)
It’s not uncommon for someone who is experiencing a panic attack to feel overwhelmed with a sensation of doom that transpires in the following ways:
Physically - Some people mistake a panic attack for a seizure or heart attack and thus respond to it incorrectly.
Socially - Feeling embarrassed or a fear of being judged by others can add a layer of shame and stress around an already stressful situation.
Mentally - Some fear they are going crazy or losing control during a panic attack, thinking thoughts like ‘That’s it; I’m going to die!’, even when there is no danger present. Panic can evoke a very unexpected and extreme sense of dread—especially during a longer-lasting panic attack. The physical symptoms may subside relatively quickly; however, the residual cognitive and emotional trauma can have a significant and lasting impact.
Because panic attacks can be such a painful and overwhelming experience, those who have them sometimes develop a deep fear about having another one. They may even restrict themselves from going to certain places or may make changes to their behavior with the hope of avoiding another panic attack. Depending upon the person’s particular triggers, this might mean saying ‘no’ to social invitations or limiting physical exertion so they don’t find themselves short of breath.
Having a panic attack could be an isolated incident and does not automatically mean you have a panic disorder. A panic disorder is characterized by recurrent and unexpected, full-symptom panic attacks.
No one can say exactly what causes panic attacks, but we do know they’re not something that people can control. The trigger can be completely different from one person to the next, ranging from stress, a traumatic event, mental illness, a particular thought or specific stimuli in the environment.
If you have never had a panic attack, this article could be a worthwhile resource should you ever experience one, or if you find yourself in the presence of someone who’s experiencing a panic attack. Knowledge of what occurs in the moment can drastically help lessen the symptoms and impact during and after.
While it might appear that your world is crashing down around you – allow the panic to pass you by – don’t resist it – it will pass. No one ever died from a panic attack.
Is An Anxiety Attack the Same as a Panic Attack?
While a person can suffer with anxiety without having a panic attack, some panic attacks are brought on by prolonged and unaddressed anxiety. Also - some people use the terms anxiety attack and panic attack interchangeably, but while they mean the same thing, the correct medical term is a panic attack. This is according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, which is the main taxonomic and diagnostic tool used by psychiatric professionals to describe common psychiatric disorders, such as anxiety, and depression.
How to Prevent and Cope with Panic Attacks
Several factors may contribute to panic attacks, including environment, psychology, development, and genetics. Panic disorders are often linked to genetic, temperament, childhood adversity, life stress, and neurological factors.
The following therapeutic and lifestyle tools and tactics can help decrease the potential of experiencing a panic attack and help you respond effectively if one were to occur.
Education and Awareness.
When it comes to addressing panic attacks, you have to be your own best expert. If you have had a panic attack, take a moment to think about what may have triggered it. Have you been under an extended period of stress? Was a particular fearful thought running through your mind? Were you in an environment that made you feel uncomfortable? The more awareness you develop around your panic attacks and educate yourself on your specific triggers, the more likely you’ll be to minimize their impact on your life in the future.
Acceptance.
Resistance is futile (and often makes things worse). Also, accepting the likelihood a panic attack can happen again and accepting the symptoms when they do occur, rather than resisting them, is a powerful step to overcoming them. Remember, the feeling of panic will always pass, and although your mind may tell you otherwise, you are not in danger.
Physical Exercise.
Seriously, what doesn’t exercise improve? The mood-boosting endorphins that result from increased physical exercise help to reduce stress, which is a contributing factor to panic attacks. Exercising regularly can help reduce the chances of having another panic attack. However, if you do have a panic attack, avoid strenuous workouts during the experience and stick with gentle stretching, breathing exercises or taking a walk.
Meditation.
One of the most effective ways to calm the mind and give a pause between what you perceive and how you react is meditation. A regular meditation practice can diminish the likelihood of future panic attacks and if one should occur, the techniques learned through various forms of meditation can help you calm down faster, such as visualization techniques, breathing practices, and progressive muscle relaxation techniques.
Talk About It.
While many men experience panic attacks, few actually open up about it to others. This form of avoidance feeds the anxiety that fosters panic. Engaging in an honest, open conversation allows you to release the burden and understand you are not alone in this experience.
What Should You Do When Experiencing A Panic Attack?
The following tactics will help you feel less fearful and resistant during an attack and will make it easier to navigate your way back to calm.
Label the Experience.
During a panic attack, you can create some mental distance from the experience by labeling what is happening to you. Say to yourself, “Yep, this is a panic attack. It really sucks, but I know it will pass and I am not in any danger and it will be over soon.”
Acknowledge and Accept.
First and foremost, don’t tell yourself not to panic—this will only prolong it. Allowing yourself to sit in the swirl of emotions, rather than pushing them away, actually helps the attack to pass more quickly. Remember that you are not your thoughts and you don’t have to “buy-in” to the doomsday story your mind is telling you.
Breathe.
Slow, deep breathing disrupts the panic cycle and calms the autonomic nervous system.
If you’ve already been practicing meditation or breathwork, you may find it easier to turn to the breath during a panic attack. The box breathing method is simple to use and highly effective. Simply inhale to a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, and then hold for a count of 4. Repeat at least 5 to 6 times.
Shift and focus.
Become really present in the moment and give your attention to the things around you. What do you hear or see or smell? What is the temperature of the air? What is the weather like outside? Noticing your environment helps break the panic cycle by refocusing your thoughts on something new.
Relax your muscles.
Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) is effective in reducing anxiety. It involves decreasing the tension throughout your body while reducing negative thoughts. This method works better during an attack if you’ve had prior practice. To try PMR, you will intentionally contract and release muscles in different sections of your body. Start by focusing on the muscles in your feet and calves, then thighs and glutes, then abdominals and back, then arms and hand, and finally, neck and face. Remember to breathe deeply as you contract and relax each area in your body.
Collect Data:
Returning to awareness and education, take a moment to evaluate your experience. In addition to identifying your trigger, consider how long the attack lasted and which, if any of the techniques to resolve the attack were helpful. This information is not only beneficial for your own approach to dealing with your panic attacks, but is also valuable information to share with a therapist, should you seek professional help.
How Can You Help Someone Who’s Having a Panic Attack?
Witnessing someone having a panic attack can be a bit terrifying - especially if you don’t know how to help them. So what can you do?
1 - Stay calm and remember that they are not in any real physical danger.
2 - Ask them if they would like your help. If the answer is no, then be respectful of their wishes. They may just want to deal with the attack on their own.
3 - Use your tools. If the person would like your help, have could have them sit down and talk them through box breathing. You could get them a glass of water and offer words of reassurance. Even sitting quietly and offering your presence can be beneficial to someone who is experiencing a panic attack.
Whether the person wants interactive help or prefers to move through the experience alone, be compassionate, non-judgmental, and tentative to their needs. Get the kettle going and brew up a cup of tea for when they’re ready.
Any way you slice it, panic attacks are disruptive and emotional events, and while there’s no way to guarantee you’ll never have another one, there’s comfort in knowing they are extremely common and nothing is wrong with you for having them. Building your awareness and coping skills will help you navigate your way to a calmer mindset, minimize the disruption and empower you to live a full and vibrant life.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with panic attacks, contact me to schedule a free 30-minute phone consultation. Click on the schedule button below.
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Cheers, Simon
Simon G. Niblock, MA, LMFT, is a licensed psychotherapist, specializing in men’s mental health and wellness. He provides tailored psychotherapy services and online programs for men and is the author of the Anxiety Workbook for Men, Evidence-based Exercises to Manage Anxiety, Depression, and Worry.
Important Notice: The content in this article is for informational purposes only. It does not replace direct professional mental health, medical treatment, or professional care in any way. Seek the support of a physician or other qualified healthcare provider to diagnose and treat any mental health concern directly. Contact 911 or your local emergency services number if you are experiencing a mental health emergency.
