Getting to the Bottom of Anxiety
Humans spend a lot of time and energy trying to stay a step ahead. We forecast weather patterns with a fair amount of accuracy, we guess a chess opponent’s moves several turns ahead and we hedge our bets based upon financial projections for future earnings. What we are consistently terrible at, however, is actually being able to see the future.
There are no tools or tricks that reliably reveal what will happen either tomorrow or five minutes from now, and this uncertainty is the root cause of anxiety. The ways we experience anxiety varies greatly from one person to the next and can affect us physically, cognitively, emotionally and behaviorally, but anxiety is always a response to the anticipation of a future threat that does not exist yet.
Anxiety: Everybody's got it, and that's okay.
Let’s be clear about one thing, everyone experiences some anxiety and not all anxiety is bad. In fact, at the right time and in the right quantity, anxiety can be a brilliant motivating factor that helps you win the race, or complete a project by the deadline. It can also be a life-saving response that spurs you to run away from a tiger that’s chasing you. It’s perfectly normal to feel anxious before a big job interview or when proposing to your girlfriend. Any time you are invested in the outcome of something and the future of that thing is unknown, you are likely to feel a bit of anxiety.
So, When Does Anxiety Become a Problem?
Anxiety disorders arise when feelings related to anxiety become repetitive, dominate your thoughts and diminish your quality of life. While the specific symptoms of anxiety differ from one person to the next, there are four main ways that anxiety is expressed.
Generalized Anxiety: Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD) is the most commonly experienced anxiety-related disorder. It's defined by excessive worry or repeated thinking about potential future events that are typically out of proportion to the actual likelihood or impact of the anticipated event.
Social Anxiety: social anxiety disorder (SAD) is a marked or intense hypersensitivity of real or imaginary threats in social situations. Individuals typically experience fear associated with the prospect of being scrutinized or judged as anxious, weak, crazy, stupid, dull, intimidating, dirty, or unlikable. As a result, individuals who experience social anxiety typically overestimate the negative consequences of social situations.
Phobias: A phobia is a persistent, excessive, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that actually poses little or no danger. A phobia is typically evoked nearly every time someone comes in contact with the thing they fear.
Panic Attacks: A panic attack is a sudden surge of intense fear or discomfort that reaches a peak within a short period (usually within minutes), which is either expected (anticipated and related to a particular stimulus) or unexpected (out of the blue with no obvious cue or trigger at the time of occurrence). Panic attacks are accompanied by physical and cognitive symptoms such as heart palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, trembling, and fears of dying, going crazy, or losing control.
Men manage, process & express their anxiety in unique ways.
Anxiety affects all individuals, regardless of gender identity, however, men respond to and express anxiety in very different ways than women. For example, men will often express themselves emotionally, physically or behaviorally in these ways:
Emotionally -
Anger
Irritability or “being on edge”
Restlessness
Trepidation
Dread
Aversion
Sadness
Disappointment
Physically -
Fatigue and/or burnout
Difficulty concentrating or being present
Sexual health issues (such as erectile dysfunction)
Hypervigilance
Stomach pain, nausea, or digestive trouble
Headaches
Muscle tension or pain
Behaviorally –
Excessive worrying
Withdrawing or antisocial behavior
Risk-taking or adopting unhealthy, risky, or self-destructive activities
Addictive behaviors (such as pornography or gaming)
Substance abuse
Aggression
Escaping or avoidance
For a lot of men, anxiety is left undiagnosed and untreated for extended periods of time, thus becoming more problematic and intense – and the impact is significant. Anxiety affects men’s bodies, their brain, and robs them of the life that they envision for themselves.
Why don't more guys get help with their anxiety?
Men are often socialized from a young age to suppress their emotions. Because healing requires both awareness about what you are feeling and vulnerability to talk about those feelings, it’s difficult for some men to feel comfortable seeking help.
Exercise.
Deciphering what happens to you when you experience anxiety is an important first step in overcoming anxiety. Ask yourself these questions and write them down in a journal or notebook.
How do I express anxiety? Is it emotionally, physically, or behaviorally?
How does my anxiety impact me on a day-to-day basis? Consider the impact on your health and wellbeing, relationships, pursuits, interests, and responsibilities, etc.
Does my anxiety feel manageable, or do I need more information or even professional support?
In what ways do I feel like anxiety holds me back from realizing my full potential? What might be possible for me if I could overcome or manage my anxiety?
Know that regardless of the type or severity of your anxiety, it does not have to be a permanent part of your life. There are therapeutic tools and resources available that can help you chart a different path and live the life you envision for yourself.
Debrief & Digest.
Everyone experiences anxiety from time-to-time, but anxiety becomes a disorder when it feels repetitive, overwhelming, or holds you back from living your best life.
The first step to dealing with anxiety is to become aware of the root cause of your anxiety and then to understand how your anxiety is uniquely expressed.
Once you gain an understanding and awareness about your anxiety, you can take action to begin diminishing the influence of anxiety in your life.
What's Next?
For more information on successfully deciphering anxiety, check out the additional articles posted here in the resources section, or explore the Anxiety Workbook for Men, Evidence-Based Exercises to Manage Anxiety, Depression and Worry, details under https://www.simonniblock.com/workbook
If anxiety is problematic for you that you are considering seeking professional guidance, take a few moments to schedule a phone consultation to explore available clinical options. Help is readily available.
Cheers
Schedule a free 20 minutes consultation using the button below
References
Niblock, S.G. (2021). Anxiety Workbook for Men, Evidence-Based Exercises to Manage Anxiety, Depression and Worry. Callisto Media. CA.
