Life is extraordinary when everything goes smoothly and there’s balance in our day-to-day. It’s easy to be content in this sweet spot and thankful for the smooth ride. But often, this balance is short-lived.
Are you feeling discontent? What does that even mean?
The guys that come to my office often convey that they “feel off”, but they haven’t been able to identify why. They sometimes mention feeling restless, short-tempered, frustrated, and easily overwhelmed.
As a therapist, I honestly believe that disconnection is the primary cause of most, if not all, of the emotional and relational issues that men convey when we talk. Men constantly state that they feel disconnected from their lives and they feel this in the form of deep discontent.
When we feel a disconnect between the life we have envisioned and the one we’re living, negative habits and tendencies show up in our daily lives.
When discontent makes an appearance in your life, examine your discomfort to identify its source. Ask yourself, ‘What has changed?’, ‘What would it take for me to feel satisfied?’, ‘What changes do I need to make to be happy?’, and ‘What (or who) are the obstacles to my happiness?’ to reveal insight. Sometimes, you might be surprised by the answer – occasionally, you (or your way of thinking) may be a contributor. It’s important to know that regardless of the source, there is always a solution.
When dealing with discontent try to adjust your attitude, focus on gratitude, and take inventory of the good that is present in your life. Do something meaningful – spend time with loved ones, help others, and participate in activities you’re passionate about.
Gravitate toward the things that are healthy that add happiness and fulfillment in your life, and evaluate the possibility of distancing yourself from those that don’t.
It’s challenging being a modern man in today’s world – we have expectations and obligations to play certain roles or to act/react a certain way. These roles were established long ago before we ever arrived on the scene.
Overcoming discontent requires that we value ourselves over these pressures, knowing it may disrupt the status quo.
This is where honesty, communication, and a supportive network of family, friends, and colleagues come into play.
Our desired natural state is one of serenity and contentment. When discontent is present it’s to alert us that something is amiss so we can be nudged toward positive change. If you were always satisfied, you’d never stray from your routines and comfort zone. Frustration occurs when we’ve ignored these feelings of dissatisfaction and haven’t identified and addressed the root of the problem.
Process your feelings instead of ignoring them. Identify the reason for your disharmony.
Once you’ve discovered the source of discontent, solutions will appear.
As you incorporate these new changes into your life, you’ll have greater meaning and purpose – so you can return to that glorious sweet spot. Change and ambiguity can be challenging and out of your comfort zone, but they are necessary to conquer to reach your highest potential.
Allow discontent to be a catalyst for living your authentic life – its presence serves a purpose.
Need more help with this issue? You’re not alone. Let’s connect for a complimentary, 20-minute phone consultation. Book through my website, Facebook page, or call 512-470-6976. There’s help in your corner, mate!
Atherton, Pete (2019). More Than a Feeling – The Benefits of Discontent. Accessed:
Tracy, Bryan. Listen to Your Divine Discontent. Accessed: http://www1.nightingale.com/articles/listen-to-your-divine-discontent/
Reid-Maynard, Cerena (Oct 2018). How Discovering Your Core Values Could Prevent Discontent. Accessed: